Happy Birthday, Emil's Grandmother!
Was it really worth it to get up at 8am on Saturday so that I could go to Wegmans? Yes, it was.
This store is amazing. Not only do they have a bazillion types of foods, but the people in there are SO nice--customers and employees alike. We left home so early that I didn't have time to have coffee, so that's the first thing I did at the store. I was fumbling with my cup and couldn't find the lids, and a man handed me one. Cheerfully, too. Then, the coffee urn ran out, and I turned around to find a store employee to fill it back up but he was already right behind me, with a new urn of fresh coffee. When Javert tried to strangle me (in jest, of course...or was it?) a Wegmans employee said "No strangling in Wegmans!" And a bakery employee insisted that we wait for her to go get some fresh french bread when we were discussing which kind to use for bruschetta. Then, due to a miscalculation on my mom's part, we lost our cart, but the bakery lady happily got us more bread even though we'd been idiots. Finally, in the parking lot, I asked a man where Walmart was, and he answered me like I'd just told him he'd won the lottery. Maybe I've been in New York too long, maybe it was the "Holiday" spirit, I don't know, but people were super nice.
Anyway, back to Wegmans. They have candy in bulk, like at candy shops and movie theaters. There's a toy train that goes around the whole store on a track near the ceiling, tooting its horn at intervals. There's two kinds of basil, and a cheese section that's probably bigger than my apartment, and get this---MINI MORNINGSTAR FARM CORN DOGS! It doesn't get any better than this!
We went to Wegman's to get last minute things for my grandmother's 85th birthday party which was that night. She's depressed about her age, so she just invited her next-door neighbor, her sister, and her best friend to my parents house for dinner. I made most of the food except the turkey (my mom made that): olive paste, bruschetta, turkey gravy, sweet potato casserole, asparagus and tomato salad, stuffing, spiced pecans, and apple pie. My dad made cranberry sauce and my great aunt made jello mold and something that vaguely resembled green bean casserole. The grocery store made a strawberry shortcake birthday cake that my mom ended up getting for free. It was all delicious, but conversation was rather lacking. The elderly folks sat close together at one end of the table, leaving the rest of us far enough away that we could hear them but they couldn't hear us (this isn't difficult, as they're all quite hard of hearing.) My grandmother has a hearing aid that makes a constant high-pitched beeping noise, which made for great entertainment, and my great aunt refuses to admit her hearing loss and therefore shouts everything she says, which is a lot. The elderly faction spent most of the night discussing the food options, Ambien, and Social Security (which, being lifelong Baltimoreans, they pronouce "SocSecurity"), and confusing the champagne with the sparkling apple cider (this was VERY amusing).
We bought a princess crown for my grandmother to wear, and a pin that said "Aged to Perfection." She put the crown on immediately, but she was afraid to put the pin on her blouse because she thought it might damage it. Instead she attached it to her glasses chain, where it hung all night.
For her birthday, we gave my grandmother a fleece-lined robe and a phone for people with hearing problems. My great-aunt gave her this purse, best described by a word I never use: "bling." This purse almost blinded me, it was so shiny. I'm sure it will be great fun when my grandmother forgets which of the 49 zippered compartments she put her keys in and freaks out, thinking she lost them.
More on my trip home later, including: my take on an NFL game and how I freaked out a Walmart employee.
This store is amazing. Not only do they have a bazillion types of foods, but the people in there are SO nice--customers and employees alike. We left home so early that I didn't have time to have coffee, so that's the first thing I did at the store. I was fumbling with my cup and couldn't find the lids, and a man handed me one. Cheerfully, too. Then, the coffee urn ran out, and I turned around to find a store employee to fill it back up but he was already right behind me, with a new urn of fresh coffee. When Javert tried to strangle me (in jest, of course...or was it?) a Wegmans employee said "No strangling in Wegmans!" And a bakery employee insisted that we wait for her to go get some fresh french bread when we were discussing which kind to use for bruschetta. Then, due to a miscalculation on my mom's part, we lost our cart, but the bakery lady happily got us more bread even though we'd been idiots. Finally, in the parking lot, I asked a man where Walmart was, and he answered me like I'd just told him he'd won the lottery. Maybe I've been in New York too long, maybe it was the "Holiday" spirit, I don't know, but people were super nice.
Anyway, back to Wegmans. They have candy in bulk, like at candy shops and movie theaters. There's a toy train that goes around the whole store on a track near the ceiling, tooting its horn at intervals. There's two kinds of basil, and a cheese section that's probably bigger than my apartment, and get this---MINI MORNINGSTAR FARM CORN DOGS! It doesn't get any better than this!
We went to Wegman's to get last minute things for my grandmother's 85th birthday party which was that night. She's depressed about her age, so she just invited her next-door neighbor, her sister, and her best friend to my parents house for dinner. I made most of the food except the turkey (my mom made that): olive paste, bruschetta, turkey gravy, sweet potato casserole, asparagus and tomato salad, stuffing, spiced pecans, and apple pie. My dad made cranberry sauce and my great aunt made jello mold and something that vaguely resembled green bean casserole. The grocery store made a strawberry shortcake birthday cake that my mom ended up getting for free. It was all delicious, but conversation was rather lacking. The elderly folks sat close together at one end of the table, leaving the rest of us far enough away that we could hear them but they couldn't hear us (this isn't difficult, as they're all quite hard of hearing.) My grandmother has a hearing aid that makes a constant high-pitched beeping noise, which made for great entertainment, and my great aunt refuses to admit her hearing loss and therefore shouts everything she says, which is a lot. The elderly faction spent most of the night discussing the food options, Ambien, and Social Security (which, being lifelong Baltimoreans, they pronouce "SocSecurity"), and confusing the champagne with the sparkling apple cider (this was VERY amusing).
We bought a princess crown for my grandmother to wear, and a pin that said "Aged to Perfection." She put the crown on immediately, but she was afraid to put the pin on her blouse because she thought it might damage it. Instead she attached it to her glasses chain, where it hung all night.
For her birthday, we gave my grandmother a fleece-lined robe and a phone for people with hearing problems. My great-aunt gave her this purse, best described by a word I never use: "bling." This purse almost blinded me, it was so shiny. I'm sure it will be great fun when my grandmother forgets which of the 49 zippered compartments she put her keys in and freaks out, thinking she lost them.
More on my trip home later, including: my take on an NFL game and how I freaked out a Walmart employee.
posted by Emil at 9:57 AM
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