T minus 8 days and counting...

For the second night of Pesach next week, Javert and I invited my parents, my uncle, my grandmother, my brother, Javert's parents, sister, sister's boyfriend, brother, and the CSL. This is one person less than we had last year (we'll miss you Steph!). And this is basically the most people we can fit into our apartment and still have a reasonably coherent seder.* I'm very excited and can't wait to start cooking! (Actually I've already started stockpiling and have amassed 6 bags of frozen chicken broth in my freezer so far--last year I made about 15 qt of soup in one day, which I do not wish to repeat this year, so small increments is the way to go. One of the batches looks exceptionally like urine.)

As I did last year, I instructed my mother to bring the Tulkoff horseradish, since I think it's only sold in Baltimore. Here stores seem to carry only Gold's brand, which I think is highly inferior. So what does my mother do? She goes and buys Gold's brand in Baltimore! Luckily she mentioned this to me on the phone last night so I was able to impart to her exactly how important the correct type of horseradish is. She claimed all the stores in Baltimore were out of it, but I didn't believe her. As I suspected, today she managed to find some non-kosher for Passover Tulkoff horseradish (red, not white, which is WAY too spicy) and she bought two bottles. I hope no one at the seder gets annoyed that its not labeled kosher-for-passover, but I haven't paid attention to kosher-for-Passover product labeling ever since I found corn syrup in the ingredient list for a certified kosher-for-Passover product (ring jells, I think) along with an explanation that Rabbis had decided that this was still okay to certify (I swear I'm not making this up! What a racket!)

Which brings me to what I can assure you will be only the first in a series of Passover Food rants. I am not looking forward to Passover. I love the foods we eat at the seder...but 8 days of limited carbohydrates is enough to drive me insane. Really. You can ask Javert, I turn into a maniac around the 4th day of Passover, and have spontaneous crying fits or worse, and I just can't handle not getting to eat what I want to eat. I'm not a bread or pasta person really, but then you eliminate rice and corn also (this is the dumbest rule EVER) and I can't take it anymore and I lose control.

I'm going to try really hard not to let that happen this year. I like the foods I make for the seder, so I'm just going to make more of them during the rest of the holiday. So what if the kugel has a half a cup of oil in it--it tastes good and it satisfies my carb lust. I've refrained from making egg salad since last Passover so I can look forward to it for this year. I'm not even making brisket for the seder, mostly so I can enjoy it later on in the week and not share it with anyone (and also because kosher briskets cost like 100 dollars if you want enough for 12 people). And for when the carb lust gets out of control? Unlimited quantities of UTZ potato chips, I promise.

But be prepared, people! My little plan, which sounds great now, is certainly not foolproof. I'm sure to break down at least once, and when I do, you probably want to be far far away from me. You should probably start preparing your emergency readiness kits now, just to be safe.

*I have more to say about the seder re: who's coming and what that means, but I'll wait till closer, to get myself even MORE excited (or frightened, as you will learn).