Proboscis
On Monday night, Javert and I watched the movie Mimic. The plot is thus: A creepy disease spread by cockroaches is killing Manhattan's children. An entomologist develops another type of cockroach that will kill all of the deadly ones and then die itself, since it's genetically engineered to have no reproductive capacity. Three years later, the entomologist discovers she fucked up majorly and the genetically engineered cockroaches are (of course) reproducing like crazy in the subway system. They're 6 feet tall, can fly, and the best part--they have a human-like head they use so as not to immediately scare off their prey (humans). When they're close to a victim, the human-like head splits down the middle, revealing their giant cockroach head and mouth which they use to devour the target. The entomologist and her team, consisting of her husband (some sort of infectious disease expert) a stereotypical NYPD subway cop, an immigrant man who shines shoes in the subway station, and his autistic son, spend a night getting chased around the subway tunnels by hoardes of these giant cockroaches.
In case you were wondering (please tell me you were) I was not just sitting watching this movie, I was also busy doing other stuff at the same time. Nevertheless, I knew this movie would scare me. Despite how incredibly ridiculous the idea of giant Cockroach Men taking over the subway is, I still managed to convince myself that not only did they exist, but that one had also gotten into my apartment and was going to eat me when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
I kept making jokes about the Cockroach Man all night long to try to alleviate the inevitable fear I knew I'd feel around bedtime. I failed. It wasn't completely my fault--just before we turned the lights out, they flickered in a really creepy way, and a siren went off simultaneously. Sure enough, in the middle of the night, when I had to go to the bathroom, I woke Javert and told him I was scared of the Cockroach Man in our hallway. He told me I was being ridiculous, but I still turned on the nighttable lamp before I got up to do my business. Needless to say, the Cockroach Man did not get me, although Javert managed to scare me in the subway station the next morning by pretending to be him.
I bet you thought this story was going to end with me finding a real cockroach in my apartment. Hah!
In case you were wondering (please tell me you were) I was not just sitting watching this movie, I was also busy doing other stuff at the same time. Nevertheless, I knew this movie would scare me. Despite how incredibly ridiculous the idea of giant Cockroach Men taking over the subway is, I still managed to convince myself that not only did they exist, but that one had also gotten into my apartment and was going to eat me when I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
I kept making jokes about the Cockroach Man all night long to try to alleviate the inevitable fear I knew I'd feel around bedtime. I failed. It wasn't completely my fault--just before we turned the lights out, they flickered in a really creepy way, and a siren went off simultaneously. Sure enough, in the middle of the night, when I had to go to the bathroom, I woke Javert and told him I was scared of the Cockroach Man in our hallway. He told me I was being ridiculous, but I still turned on the nighttable lamp before I got up to do my business. Needless to say, the Cockroach Man did not get me, although Javert managed to scare me in the subway station the next morning by pretending to be him.
I bet you thought this story was going to end with me finding a real cockroach in my apartment. Hah!
posted by Emil at 6:04 PM
3 Comments:
That movie sounds awesome! It also sounds like I will get freaked out by it as I hate bugs and get weirded out and frightened by stupid shit in the apartment all the time...like the Doorbell Murderer.
To explain, in the Phina Estate (sob) we had to buy one of those doorbells that you set up outside and have a battery operated speaker inside the apartment. Sometimes it would make a very warped doorbell noise that wasn't our usual doorbell in the middle of the night and I would wake up freaked out by the thought of this man who rings your doorbell (but making it sound completely different), before entering your apartment and murdering you as you groggily wonder WTF.
I have an active nighttime imagination.
What I find kind of amazing is that we have a dressmaker's dummy sitting directly outside the door to our bedroom in the new place, and that I don't, on a regular basis, hear Tina screaming when she gets up in the middle of the night to pee and things it's the doorbell murderer.
Cause there is no creepy doorbell!
And I know my mannequin is benign.
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