Thwack! Pow! Bam!
This morning at the 96th Street subway station, Javert and I were waiting to change to the 2/3 express trains heading downtown. It was really crowded--about 3 people deep waiting, and I figured we wouldn't get on the first train.
I, however, did get on the train, next to two almost-middle-aged white men. We were all standing right at the train doors, where you have to kinda hold your body inward till the doors shut, at which point you can relax. Both men next to me wore business-casual type clothes, and one was bald while the other had lots of red hair and a beard.
Now, if you've never had to take the subway at rush hour you might not understand just how crowded it is and how people feel that they MUST get on the train NO MATTER WHAT. Everyone pushes and surges and forces themselves onto the train, but the people already on the train do a sort of defensive feet-planting, refusing to give up their spots and move further into the middle of the car, so a ton of people end up squeezed into the train areas near the doors while the middle of the train is crowded but still relatively roomy. This happens almost every morning and sometimes in the afternoons too.
I guess the bald guy thought he was the only one being crowded, and thought the bearded guy was the only one pushing, so he pushed right back. And he used both hands, forcing the guy off the train and halfway across the platform. Of course the bearded guy decided to push back, and so a subway train fight broke out right next to me. The fight was on my right, so I threw myself into the woman to my left, who kept saying "Oh My God" over and over, disgusted with the fight. Even though Javert was on the platform, I couldn't get off the train because I thought I'd get swept up into the fight and get knocked over. Luckily the train car happened to have a conductor box, so the conductor came out into the car and said Not on My Train a few times till the fight ended. At which point I left the train and Javert pulled me to him. Oddly enough, the bearded man, who kept getting pushed off the train, took my place right next to his enemy and the train left.
I've been on the train with lots of crazy people, like the guy who was standing up and vomiting near the doorways, or the drunk guy who refused to move away from the door even though there were actually seats available, or the other really big guy who refused to move away from the door, instructing the woman who needed to get off to "say excuse me, bitch." I've even seen a man take a running start to better force himself onto a packed train car. But this was my first close-up fight (well, more like altercation since there was no blood involved). Exciting. An insider's look at how people can get so angry that they do irrational things. Its just a subway, people!
And the next train came about 2 minutes later, maybe even sooner. This city gets crazy sometimes. I definitely get annoyed at other subway riders; sometimes I even imagine getting into arguments with pole-leaners or seat-hoggers. (I mean, how hard is it for men to sit with their legs together?) But I'd never actually push someone off a train! Maybe I haven't been here long enough. But I think that when that sort of thing happens, it's time to leave the city and start perfecting your road rage. You can do a lot more damage with a car than with your bare hands....
I, however, did get on the train, next to two almost-middle-aged white men. We were all standing right at the train doors, where you have to kinda hold your body inward till the doors shut, at which point you can relax. Both men next to me wore business-casual type clothes, and one was bald while the other had lots of red hair and a beard.
Now, if you've never had to take the subway at rush hour you might not understand just how crowded it is and how people feel that they MUST get on the train NO MATTER WHAT. Everyone pushes and surges and forces themselves onto the train, but the people already on the train do a sort of defensive feet-planting, refusing to give up their spots and move further into the middle of the car, so a ton of people end up squeezed into the train areas near the doors while the middle of the train is crowded but still relatively roomy. This happens almost every morning and sometimes in the afternoons too.
I guess the bald guy thought he was the only one being crowded, and thought the bearded guy was the only one pushing, so he pushed right back. And he used both hands, forcing the guy off the train and halfway across the platform. Of course the bearded guy decided to push back, and so a subway train fight broke out right next to me. The fight was on my right, so I threw myself into the woman to my left, who kept saying "Oh My God" over and over, disgusted with the fight. Even though Javert was on the platform, I couldn't get off the train because I thought I'd get swept up into the fight and get knocked over. Luckily the train car happened to have a conductor box, so the conductor came out into the car and said Not on My Train a few times till the fight ended. At which point I left the train and Javert pulled me to him. Oddly enough, the bearded man, who kept getting pushed off the train, took my place right next to his enemy and the train left.
I've been on the train with lots of crazy people, like the guy who was standing up and vomiting near the doorways, or the drunk guy who refused to move away from the door even though there were actually seats available, or the other really big guy who refused to move away from the door, instructing the woman who needed to get off to "say excuse me, bitch." I've even seen a man take a running start to better force himself onto a packed train car. But this was my first close-up fight (well, more like altercation since there was no blood involved). Exciting. An insider's look at how people can get so angry that they do irrational things. Its just a subway, people!
And the next train came about 2 minutes later, maybe even sooner. This city gets crazy sometimes. I definitely get annoyed at other subway riders; sometimes I even imagine getting into arguments with pole-leaners or seat-hoggers. (I mean, how hard is it for men to sit with their legs together?) But I'd never actually push someone off a train! Maybe I haven't been here long enough. But I think that when that sort of thing happens, it's time to leave the city and start perfecting your road rage. You can do a lot more damage with a car than with your bare hands....
posted by Emil at 10:00 AM
3 Comments:
I often fantasize about physically shoving people out of subway doors, usually so that the fall on their butts on the platform, staring dumbfounded as the train pulls away. Another fantasy is where I take the bag/briefcase/whatever of the offending rider and throw it out of the subway doors so that the person is forced to choose between staying on the train and confronting me or running after their bag.
I remember reading an account somewhere about a guy who gets fed up with a door-blocker and shoves him out of the train. He thinks that everybody else in the car (all of whom were annoyed with the blocker) will approve and perhaps audibly cheer him, but in fact they are all vaguely horrified and just move away from him slowly.
I heard a story this weekend about a girl who was wearing one of those cello-backpack things and it got caught outside the train while she was inside. Its a pretty funny image, although she probably didn't think so.
Also, on a more morbid note, I knew a girl who got dragged by a (real, not subway) train in France. They stopped the train eventually, and she wasn't very hurt, but still...
I am a fan of the feet spread apart-standing your ground pose when I get into a good spot on the subway. The best shoes for this are steel toed DocMartins. I do think about yelling at people, but not pushing them at the train. However, some jerk muttered something about how I should have used the other stairs to climb down during morning rush (you know when there is a sea of people coming up the stairs and you just want to go down?) and I yelled at him a bit. That felt good.
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