Stand clear of Emil, please.
What is with these people on the subway who stand up waaaaaay before their stop? I was on the train this morning, already angry after being shoved in by some woman behind me. I was the first person standing in the seating area, near the corner pole where the doors are (I have to be near one of the long poles because sadly I am too short to reach the top pole. SO MOVE OVER, STUPID TALL MAN.) Javert stood next to me, holding on to the high pole. As the train got to 59th street, a full two stations away from the next stop, the woman sitting on the bench right in front of me stood up abruptly. This meant we were face to face, about 6 inches apart. Surprisingly I was slightly taller than she was, so we weren't in danger of kissing on the lips by accident if the train jerked, but it was still mighty uncomfortable. I was blocking her exit towards the door area of the train, and if I had let go of the pole she could have squeezed past me. But I have a rule: I will not let go of the pole if the train is moving.
The woman stood there for a few seconds as the train slowed down to pass through the station (the express trains have been doing this lately and are barely faster than the locals). I am SURE that at this point she realized we were still two stations away and that she stood up too soon. But she was too stubborn to admit that, and I was too stubborn to let her through, so we stood face to face for the next five minutes. I think Javert, who was standing next to me, was getting jealous. Sure I could have let this woman though, but every other time I've let go of the pole so other people can move the train jerks and I end up falling on top of someone else, usually a dirty person or a small child or some weirdo carrying a giant plastic bag full of other plastic bags. Plus I enjoyed making this woman uncomfortable. And I didn't want her getting to the train door before me. That's part of the trade-in for getting a seat--the people who have to stand get to leave the train first. You cannot have both a seat and easy door access at the same time.
I'm happy to report that I exited the train before this woman. Success!
Next up: Passive-Aggressive techniques to use against business-people in livery cars!
The woman stood there for a few seconds as the train slowed down to pass through the station (the express trains have been doing this lately and are barely faster than the locals). I am SURE that at this point she realized we were still two stations away and that she stood up too soon. But she was too stubborn to admit that, and I was too stubborn to let her through, so we stood face to face for the next five minutes. I think Javert, who was standing next to me, was getting jealous. Sure I could have let this woman though, but every other time I've let go of the pole so other people can move the train jerks and I end up falling on top of someone else, usually a dirty person or a small child or some weirdo carrying a giant plastic bag full of other plastic bags. Plus I enjoyed making this woman uncomfortable. And I didn't want her getting to the train door before me. That's part of the trade-in for getting a seat--the people who have to stand get to leave the train first. You cannot have both a seat and easy door access at the same time.
I'm happy to report that I exited the train before this woman. Success!
Next up: Passive-Aggressive techniques to use against business-people in livery cars!
posted by Emil at 12:07 PM
3 Comments:
The commute from our new apartment is such that we get on the express train at the stop where the train is at its most crowded. The two stops after ours are big transit hubs where a lot of people get out, but before we get there we have to cram ourselves onto the train and then stand mashed up against other people while the train passes through three local stations.
To some extent, this solves the problem you're talking about because when there is absolutely no room to move, nobody can stand up early or jockey for position by the door. You have no choice but to stand exactly where you are. Of course, this can create some undesireable situations as well. Like for instance if you are surrounded by five individuals who are all listening to headphones at top volume and you have to hear the tinny overlap of all of them. Or when the guy three feet away from you is giving an oration about patronizing local prostitutes.
Oh yeah, the prostitution speach was fantastic. And I love hearing some reggaeton (sp? who cares?) at 8am blasting from someone's headphones. Yesterday, there was a guy who had headphones that he wore around his head. Not on top of his ears, his head. This made the music enjoyable to everyone!
Man, you guys make me miss New York. Nowadays I have to take out my agression while driving. Most people here go out of their way to drive graciously but every now and again I get someone on the highway who'd rather run me off the road than let me merge. That's when I go all NYC on them. Booya!
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