A First Post

Because I'm starting this blog mainly since Stephanie is leaving work, I figured I'd better get things going a week early so that I don't go overboard when she's finally gone. And it only makes sense that the first post be a recounting of one of her favorite stories.

Javert and I got married about a year and a half ago. We lived together for about 2 years before getting married, and I thought for sure that marriage would not mean a big change. The only thing different about my status as Married was that I got to refer to him as my husband, which was and still is really weird. On Sunday, for the first time ever, Javert's brother referred to me as his sister-in-law and I almost choked on my piece of the deep fried Mars bar we were sharing. Anyway, I guess being married did somehow change my life, because I started acting, well, like a married person.

In the morning, I always get up first and take a shower. Javert is supposed to get up and start the espresso machine. Then, he takes a shower and I steam the milk. This is much more complicated than our mornings before marriage, when we didn't have things like espresso machines and steamers and had to use archaic appliances like the tea kettle and french press to make coffee. I would put the kettle on before I got in the shower and basically make the coffee myself, since it was ready when I got out and dressed and since it doesn't really need much human assistance to operate. This story takes place right when we had switched over to the espresso machine and weren't really into our new routine. No, instead of getting up and starting the coffee when I was in the shower, Javert would sleep and sleep, not bothered at all by NPR, only waking up when I said, or more likely barked, "Aren't you going to get up today?" He'd be groggy and roll out of bed and into the shower and I had to make the coffee by myself.

Now I don't know if you've ever used an espresso machine and also been lazy like me (us?). Of course I'm not going to clean the machine after using it, or even at night when I clean up after dinner. No, I leave it for the morning. And it is VILE. You have to bang the thing that holds the espresso grinds against the trash can in order to get the grinds out (you can't put them down the sink, according to Javert, because it is bad for the disposal which we aren't supposed to have anyway and therefore if it broke we'd be in Big Trouble). Then you have to wash out the remnants of old damp coffee and pack in new coffee, attach it to the machine, put the (probably dirty so you have to clean them too) cups underneath, make sure theres enough water inside, turn on the machine, wait for the light to come on, and then turn on the coffee making part, count to 30, turn it off, and wait again for the machine to heat up. During this time you are also washing the milk frother, which since it sat there overnight is completely crusted over with dried milk. When the light comes back on, you can steam the milk which makes what is quite possibly the worst sound in the entire world. Then you mix it into the coffee, remember to turn the machine off, ponder cleaning up immediately, reject that option, drink your coffee, and go to work.

So I had to do all this myself, and didn't like it. Meanwhile he got to sleep and laze around the bedroom or shower. Thus, one morning, I decided to just not wake him up. I thought to myself, probably he'll wake up at like 11 and be really embarrassed, and I'd have such a nice feeling of satisfaction. I got up at the first alarm, turned it off (can't be too safe, right?), took a shower, and then got dressed in silence. Which is hard, since the dresser and closet are about 3 feet from the bed. But I did it all, creeping around the apartment like a burglar, and didn't make coffee since that would make way too much noise. I got my bag to leave and then realized my coat was in the bedroom. I went to get it and damn it! the coat hanger jangled and totally woke him up. And then of course I had to pretend that I was just finishing getting dressed and was all, I couldn't get the coffee machine to work and Aren't you going to get up, its 8:45? My plan was ruined! But he never found out, which means I can totally try again sometime.